Haveil Havalim 381

October 14th, 2012

Shavua Tov to everyone!

Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs founded by Soccer Dad — a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It’s hosted by different bloggers each week, jointly coordinated through our Facebook Group., and headed up by Jack.  The term ’Haveil Havalim,’ which means”Vanity of Vanities,” is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other ‘excesses’ and realized that it was nothing but ’hevel,’ or in English,’vanity.’ (*I just want to note that some translate hevel as ‘fleeting’, not ‘vanity’, but it’s a great discussion for another time.)

Consider submitting your blog posts to the carnival in future weeks, and joining our community.

I would like to dedicate this week’s Blog Carnival to Stella Frankl and her “Army”. Stella is the wife of blogger Yarden Frankl, and an all around extraordinary human being. She has just begun her second battle with cancer, and there are many, many of us around the world joining her fight. I would never presume to suggest why such a painful, scary and difficult thing needs to happen to such a happy, positive, wonderful person. But I can tell you that there have been many heartfelt prayers and tremendous acts of charity and kindness to come about solely in the merit of her recovery. May they continue, and may they be successful.

In honor of Stella, you will see a special section today of bloggers from her – and my – yishuv, Neve Daniel. I believe the time has come to dub our little town “Har Hablogim”, as you will see from the heavy concentration of writing talent. Maybe it is the mountain air. I hosted this Carnival before moving here, and the bloggers of Har Hablogim welcomed me in such an amazing way that I didn’t feel quite as much “the new kid on the block”. It is a very special place, and I am privileged to live here.

The Neve Daniel garin* of Stella’s Army:

I think it best to start with Yarden himself, who can best explain what Stella’s Army is all about at Crossing The Yarden, in My Wife Has Cancer and I’m Going for a Bike Ride.

Culinart Kosher gives us a tasty treat and another way to help the cause with Miriam’s Magic Mix Challah Topping.

Trip’n Up backs up my claims that this isn’t just any yishuv in Loving Life in Israel: Special Treats.

At Sussmans B’Aretz we are reminded to exploit and enjoy the quiet moments when we can in Creating the Space for Beauty.

Cheri B Levi asks Who Am I?. She seems much closer to an answer than I am. Can you answer the question? 

Laura Ben David, often found blogging over at Times of Israel had her first blog post at Kveller.com, about Hospital “Lactophobia” here in Israel in Why Was Breast Milk Banned from an Israeli Maternity Ward Fridge? - note; read the comments, too.

Gedalya Reback warns us of the danger of hubris – theirs and ours – in military conflict at The Times of Israel in  The Simchat Torah War: Egyptians Celebrate 1973 Loss to Israel

Ruti Mizrahi writes on Ki Yachol Nuchal about personal and meaningful celebration of her Aliyahversary (Mazal Tov!!!) in Party, Party Party! - Stella – when you read this – may we only have reasons to celebrate. 

And from the rest of the world:

Israel

Walkable Jerusalem asks whether  downtown Jerusalem, and its historic buildings, should be emptied of “mundane” uses and dedicated solely to culture and tourism The dowtown trophy wife at Nine Measures of Beauty.

Batya asks questions surrounding the drone interception in Israel last week in  IDF, Bibi- It’s Not Enough to “Intercept” Attacks and tells us a wonderful story of history recorded and friends reuniting in Days (and Nights) of Action, Can’t Keep a Good Jewish Activist Down at Shiloh Musings.

Politics

Batya presents Stop The Sarcasm! They’re Trying to Kill Us!!  and Bibi Calls for Elections! Israeli Politicians Dance The Tango at Shiloh Musings. While the “election speculation” all over the newspapers in the US and Israel is driving me a little crazy (how is that reporting?) I am surprised that Batya is our only ‘Elections-Coming-Up-in-Israel’ blog post this week. Perhaps the lack of blogging about it indicates that there is not much competition worthy of mention (as Batya suggests), and Bibi made a smart move. Or, perhaps it means that many bloggers are drowning in “acharei hachagim“* and  we will see more commentary next week…..

Personal

Mazal Tov to Chana Jenny on the birth of her baby boy. She tells her beautiful and mystical story in The Amazing Story Behind My Baby’s Name at  JewishMom.com  

Batya is also kvelling* over her special yishuv in The View From the Top posted at me-ander.

Yocheved Golani joins Stella’s Army with Crossing Jordan – and Begging Heaven to Heal a Special Lady over at It’s My Crisis and I’ll Cry if I Need To!

LATEST UPDATES: 

The following posts weren’t included initially purely due to MY oversight.. and I apologize. But they are worth the look, I promise:

What I love about The Real Jerusalem Streets is that Sharon always reminds me what I love about this country. She has posted Favorite Sukkot of Sukkot, and 10 Special Smiles in Sukkot Holiday Crowds to show us the best of the best from Jerusalem’s Sukkot holiday.  They are gorgeous pics!

Esser Agaroth‘s posts, in contrast,  ask some hard questions, and make those of us in Israel face some realities we might prefer not to in U. S. Troops In Jordan: Now Will You Believe Me? and Can Israel Win A War Against Iran? (or Syria? or Hezbollah? or anyone?) But his insight and analysis is important. It saddens me to say that I think that he (and Barry Chamish) are probably far, far more than 5% right…

Netivotgirl has a guest post  The Negev Is Alive and Well up at Shiloh Musings, and reminds us that “no casualties” from all of those rockets in southern Israel is simply a fallacy. May all those living there be in our prayers as well.

Maybe now that you have read through this list, you wish your blog was included here? Or your friends? Here is the submission form

This concludes this edition. While not all of our ND bloggers are represented here, don’t you think the nickname “Har Hablogim” should stick?

Please include Stella, Tzuriya Kochevet Bat Sarah, in your prayers and thoughts, and please submit your blog article to the next edition of haveil havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Have a great week!

Note:

*garin = Means seed, but refers to a Unit, or Group, in the IDF.

*kvelling = Yiddish for “feeling extremely proud, gushing, and/or swelling.”

*acharei hachagim = literally meaning “after the holidays”, this phrase is used in Israel from the week before Rosh Hashanah until the end of Simchat Torah to explain that anything and everything can/must wait until mid-October. Once the holidays are over and we are in the period of acharei hachagim, feelings of being overwhelmed and inundated with that which was put off are commonly known to occur.

 

 

Another Baby?

December 21st, 2010

I am NOT having another baby right now. No big announcement happening here on the blog. Sorry.

But it is the conversation that I, and many of my peers, friends – and fellow bloggers – have to have. For some of is, it is a conversation we keep revisiting.

I realize that for some people it isn’t as easy as a conversation or just deciding. I also know there are plenty of times we have “the conversation”, make a decision, and G-d just has other plans.  For better or worse, as Scary Mommy puts it: “It seems like all I need to do is think about a baby and poof, nine month later, I have one in my arms.”

So there are those of us who have “the conversation” because we do think that we have the ability to decide,at least on some level.

The decision can be about a lot of things, and I am hoping that you will chime in about some of them. There are two things I hear most often. For some, it is a question of family size above all else. “How could I possibly handle more? I can’t handle what I have!”, for example. Or, “I always thought I would have X number of kids, but maybe that is just my ideas getting in the way of what is practically best for us.”

For some, it is the AGE thing… “well, I am going to be/am/am over  40, so it’s now or never!” I hear too. I am going to be 39 in March, and I guess, well, I fall in this category. I say I am done, but saying so when you still have time to change your mind is one thing…..

When I was in labor with my youngest child (who will be 3 this spring), my husband said to my doula “the next time, we will…”  There was no rest of the sentence, because I threw the birth ball at him.

Seven is a lot of children. (And any of you tempted to say, or even think ” six and a stepson” you will just have to read this post on the matter.) It is a lot.

Everyone has to do what is right for them, and for many of us that means not only having “that talk” with our spouses, but with a Rabbi.  But I do want to address those of you who are considering going from 2 to 3 or from 3 to 4, because this is a group of women I think I hear from the most.

Here is my two cents, which may be worth much less than that:

  • When you have two kids, you can have a lifestyle. I mean hobbies, vacations, date night… a lifestyle.If you want to maintain a lifestyle and choose to have a third, you have to stop and consider how close your parents live, how good a roster of babysitters you have, and how flexible you are. I believe it can be done, but with effort.
  • However, if you want or are willing to have parenting be your lifestyle, than three is nooo problem, because parenting is what your lifestyle will become. You will take vacations around the kids, and basically do what you do for and about them – at least for a decade or two.
  • … And if you have chosen parenting as your lifestyle, then four is really not a big change over three. Very often you can then have “team A” and “team B” for the purpose of logistics. Who is on which team is constantly in flux, but you can divide up the kids while doing  playdates/errands/ naps/baths/homework… you get the idea.  The kids have taken over the life, then house, the plans, so a fourth means more diapers and less sleep, but not much of an adjustment.

A friend recently related her feelings of still yearning, loving pregnancy and child-bearing, and wanting to enjoy yummy little babies. She is not sure if those feelings are a sign she should keep going, or just some biological stirrings that she needs to learn to contend with. Another friend told her of a woman in her fifties having a hysterectomy and crying, because for some, there is no magical age when that feeling just fades away on its own.

People often talk to me about this very personal issue, telling me that they wonder how can a person do what they do, times seven. “It seems so crazy!”

I tell them that it is crazy, and fun, and joyous and hard and full of love. That when I became a mom I wasn’t a patient person who could live with clutter or a lack of control. I had no choice but to become that kind of person along the way. I remain organized, I prioritize my expectations, I ask LOTS of people for help (and try to help in return whenever I can, ) and I am married to someone who LOVES babies, and loves kids and loves being involved with the poop-changing and bed-timing, etc., which is a HUGE factor in the equation for me.

My husband’s involved co-parenting is the primary, if not sole reason I have the family I do. However, it is precisely because he really does love babies that much, we do end up still having “the conversation“…..

What about you? Are you having “the conversation”???