Our first Pesach in Israel

April 10th, 2013

This post originally appeared in the Princeton-Mercer Bucks New Jersey Jewish News

At home abroad: our family’s first Pesach in Israel

 

This is the first time in at least nine years that I didn’t make any apple kugel for the Passover seder. I didn’t make it because Max Goldfarb from East Windsor wasn’t at my seder table, so there was no special request.

This was only one of many changes for the holiday, since we moved from the Twin Rivers Jewish community in East Windsor to Neve Daniel in Gush Etzion in Israel last July.

I had expected drama — after all, this was our first Pesach as free people in our own Jewish land. THIS year, in Jerusalem.

What I got was a whole lot of normal. There were no tears at the seder and no virtual symphonic music running in my head. Just the same fun, goofy singing of “Chad Gadya” as in years past.

Since I last wrote about our aliya from New Jersey, the kids have become more and more settled, and I have begun working part time. I am now the spokesperson for the One Family Fund, a national organization helping terror victims and their families with legal, financial, and emotional assistance. The work is very intense yet incredibly meaningful. While it is an adjustment for us all, it is one more step toward full acclimation.

Our Passover seders in New Jersey were beautiful, uplifting, and a lot of fun. But they were also a lot of work: lots of guests, long drives to Lakewood for Passover supplies, two days of holiday to cook and clean for — in Israel, only one seder is observed — and generally swimming upstream in a culture celebrating Easter all around us.

Here, in the two weeks leading up to Passover, I was also busy — but with my job: As a One Family Fund representative, I was preparing to attend President Obama’s speech in Jerusalem. Being in Israel meant there were other factors mitigating the hectic approach to the holiday. A yeshiva student-for-hire scrubbed my oven and refrigerator for me. Every Pesach ingredient imaginable was available 15 minutes from my house. The community has a vat for kashering metal items, which meant sending my husband off with pots and silverware to Minha services and the dunking of the utensils — and that was it.

Rachel Moore with her press pass — as a One Family Fund representative — to attend President Obama’s speech in Jerusalem.

During the intermediate days of the holiday, day trips (“tiyulim” here) could be arranged spontaneously, just 20 minutes from our home in every direction. And no need to pack food; the restaurants at attractions and throughout Jerusalem are kosher-for-Passover.

At our one seder, we had 10 people. Israel didn’t change clocks until after the first days of Passover, so we were able to begin the seder by 6:30. We could start before what I used to feel was bedtime and finish before the middle of the night.

Passover break for the kids was a full three weeks. While that may have been its own challenge, in general the holiday season was marked by a welcome lack of hard work. It honestly felt like a vacation.

Our family was finally initiated into a true Israeli rite, when we went on our first family hike in Nahal Sorek, near Beit Shemesh. It was a beautiful (downhill) trek, with Israel’s famous spring flowers bursting forth throughout the expansive valley.

We also visited the Biblical Zoo in Jerusalem, which is quickly becoming a favorite destination for our kids. I know they enjoy seeing the animals there, but I must say I get more pleasure from seeing the kaleidoscope of Jews all gathered together; the variety never ceases to amaze me.

Ironically, it was during Passover that I became most nostalgic for our previous life. While preparing for the holiday in New Jersey was always a production, it was a production we put on together, and we enjoyed every minute once the day came.

In Twin Rivers, the preparation brought a sense of drama. Despite Obama’s first presidential visit to Israel, the holiday — this “first Pesach in Israel” — was decidedly lacking in drama. The normalcy of being a Jew in a Jewish culture, where Passover is just part of the national rhythm, felt great.

Most of my children said they missed the second seder, but in general did very little comparing. They did read the Haggada in Hebrew — and even questioned the translation! But life here is so different in so many ways that it is getting harder and harder to compare. We are slowly getting better at just living in the here and now.

Having said that, they all did want to know what happened to the apple kugel, and we all dearly missed Max Goldfarb and all of our other wonderful NJ Passover guests.

Like breaking the glass?

March 24th, 2011

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned old.Which is okay. I am lucky to be getting older and only count my blessings.

But I posted on facebook that it was tough to feel celebratory when people are blowing up my country and slitting babies’ throats.  A friend responded that it is “like breaking the glass under the chuppah. You can feel sad and celebrate at the same time.”

That made a lot of sense to me — but just doesn’t feel right. Somehow, I am sad about the Beit Hamikdash which feels so far away; so long ago and so far into the future (may it be tomorrow, B”H) but it doesn’t quite compete with the overwhelming joy in the here and now of a wedding.

But these attacks are here and now, not the distant past. I think this means I have to work on really feeling it when we mourn the Beit Hamikdash at weddings. I am supposed to feel that loss every single day.

But in the meantime, the thought of mourning and celebrating at the same time just doesn’t feel possible.  I also am tired of the helplessness I feel sitting in the US watching and listening to the news. I want to drive to Itamar and pay a shiva call. I want to visit a hospital and look at things that turn my stomach. I want to cook for someone. Anyone.

I always feel so helpful when I cook for someone.

Today in Mommy and Me I asked my Mommies and Mes to dance to “Shalom Al Yisroel” . That felt like a something. Wishing for peace. A very small something.

I hope that as you read this that you have found the best resources out there to learn about and empathize with the daily horrors in Israel this week. But in my feeling of powerlessness, I do want to share with you some of what I feel are important reads on the situation:

1. This: http://unitedwithisrael.org/tamar-fogel-speaks-out/ is an article and video of Tamar Fogel, the 12 year-old who survived her family’s massacre, and her desire to speak to Klal Yisroel.

2. This is a great blog in general. Here, he writes  one Dad’s take on why these attacks really make him so angry. As an Ima, I just relate to this peiece with every cell.  http://www.crossingtheyarden.com/2011/03/toes-terror-and-tears/

3. The One Family Fund has an  updated, accurate list of the wounded and who needs our prayers; http://www.onefamilyfund.org/article.asp?ID=2138.  I wish the organization didn’t need to exist, and that systematic solutions for the post-traumatic-stress disorder of children could be wiped out.  Until that happens, I remain in awe of the work that they do.

PLEASE PLEASE add to this list in the comments if you feel there is something that is missing. Thank G-d I no longer have to rely on American newspapers to know what is going on.

And for any of my friends and readers that are in Israel, feeling scared and angry or G-d forbid have a friend or loved one who has been hurt:

I would cook something for you if I could.  I really would.